The Inverted Goates
The Inverted Goates
I made that part up. Let's put it this way: it's the kind of music Paris Hilton listens to on her headphones when she knows nobody's around. It's the kind of music that the people who write catfood commercials listen to in their cars. It's the kind of music they play for people in Emergency Psychotic Care Centers.
As you will be able to tell, all of our material is 99.37% original. (We sometimes attempt Beatle songs that you may not hear on the radio). The Goates have currently split up to pursue their own individualistic pursuits, believing that socialism is "get your mama" if you cooperate in group efforts.......as one former member put it. MUSIC--- We have filled about 13 or so CDs up with music over the years, and if you twist our arms, we might even send you one entire product. But you must beg and tell us what you intend to do with it.
If you wish to hurl them at cats, we must refuse. However, if you promise to listen to it just once and give it a decent home, we might reach accord. Price? We've talked about this a lot. Some suggested we send money to anyone who would take them, but then, we're already paying $4.99 a month for the website.
Fiscal responsiblity needs to begin somewhere (and the federal government sure isn't much help here), so the majority has opted to actually charge people money. Sorry, but that's the way it is. Oh yeah, the price. Heck, just ask and we'll give you a CD.
Yes, you can go to the music page and download the dern songs for free. Or.....ask any one of us for some free CDs and you can have them. But then again, I only made a barely passing grade in General Business at Shamrock High School in 1912, so making money isn't my strong point.. BACKGROUND--The practice of inverting goats has a long and storied history in ancient cultures. But the current version of Goate inversion has a somewhat different twist to it.
We, the musical goates, have a long and checkered history. Back in the olde days in Athens, GA, we taped our own songs we wrote about subjects that mattered to us: the merits of Greek philosophers versus Playboy foldouts, wildebeests on the Serengheti, people taking binoculars into bars, guys trying to pass college while watching gnus mate on National Geographic specials, and unfortunately, we also covered tasteless subjects. We were happy for several years doing this until our male singer moved to Alaska and got some air time for some of our songs on KNOM radio in Nome. This was such a life-transforming experience that we even played a public performance once in an emporium in Pensacola, Florida (the male singer absconded with all $50 of the purse!).
For reasons never made clear to me, we performed very few of our own songs and things turned ugly. At one point in the session, when a majority of the 10 or 11-strong throng got antsy, the owner came over and suggested, "Twang it up a little, boys!" It led to one early retirement and our decision to stick to friendly basements and backyard barbecues. BUT---the music has progressively gotten away from Burl Ives and John Denver pleasant ditties (the kind of things they play for people in minimun security rehab facilites) of the early days to more electric, abrasive and offensive material. Some of us are even thinking of not cutting our hair anymore.
We steadfastly refuse to tuck in our shirts. Throughout the rest of the '90s, we came from great distances all over the southern part of America once a year to record our new music. We never had time to rehearse in advance and amid carnage-inducing recording sessions reminiscent of Thermopylae, Verdun or Chancellorsville, we somehow produced new songs. Today, happily, we all live close enough to each other in Metro Atlanta to practice and have some idea of what's happening next. OUR MISSION----Our mission remains constant: to produce music that's different, funny and off-center in some meaningful way.
We are somewhat like James Thurber. He was a famous cartoonist/writer in the '20s whose cartoons were originally refused because he drew like a 4th grader. But as his editor finally decided, nobody else could do it the "Thurber way." So while others might play our songs better and sing them in key, we will keep doing them our own way. You should recognize a "Goate Song" when you hear one---like a Thurber cartoon, the edges may be blurred and the proportions skewed, but what the heck? "These are the beasts which ye shall eat: the pig, the sheep, the goat." _Dueteronomy 14:4 WHO ??? Sid Greenbaum (not his real name, nor is his real name Galin Drury; or Mangrove Abdullah; or Phillip Le Volchamp.
Actually, sometimes his real name is Dirk Doom) is our special musical talent. He plays lead guitar and if you give him several weeks notice to tune it, his SITAR! He should justifiably be famous for any number of talents, from music to his many efforts and arrests on behalf of environmental causes over the years. He writes about 1 song every 3.2 years, but it's quality that he's after. He employs many chords that aren't located in many online chord dictionaries and his lyrics are reminiscent of either the more turgid chapters in Merv Griffin's autobiography or Dwight Eisenhower's State of the Union addresses.
Sid has stomped out and quit the Goates 34 separate times in his career, but he has always come crawling back. Sully Sullivan is our girl singer and is the ONLY Goate who carries a badge and possesses the attendant legal power of arrest in most sections of the state of Georgia. She joined the boys in the early 90s and despite that, remains gainfully employed. She gave up a life of international intrigue and adventure to follow the Goates around through various basements and backyard barbecues. She is convinced that "the goat of the lake" did not intend for her to be in line for the much sought-after title "Undisputed Leader." [Apparently, only charter members are eligible for this status.
It does NOT in any way reflect her femaleness] Sully has yet to quit and stomp off. Fritz Abdullah was originally allowed into the group because he owned a recording machine and later acquired a mandolin and a Stratocaster. And being very smart as he is, Tom realized that no band in the world would ever kick him out if he owned all three of those. And so far, he's been right. He has held the title of "Undisputed Leader" for the majority of the Goates' existence.
This is primarily due to his owning of a basement for recording and concert purposes and his general insistence that, no matter what musical theory demands, things be done in a way he can understand. Tom has been forced through matters of conscience to quit 26 times in the past, but when he sees the depths to which the band sinks without him, is usually moved by pity to return. Bruce Currie, Fritz's ex-step-brother-in-law (that's a long and sordid story) was our original male singer who lived in Alaska for a while. He has declared an early retirment from the music business and is now a venture capitalist/entrepreneur in the panhandle region of Florida at press time. He privately plots to gain control of the band's assets with his horde of lawyers.
There were rumors that he planned to hit the road with his own band, "Bruce Currie and his Strutting Alpacas," but no proof of this exists. But little does he know, once he ran off with our $50, we're in the red almost to quadruple figures! The joke's on him, it would seem. He has not, however, turned in his union card, so he may resurface again some day! [Some advice to neophytes: do NOT ever quit a band! Since he has left the scene, the band has recorded such ditties as "Take Your Pants Off, Bruce," and "Cardboard Bruce.", and a new song under construction, "I Want To Be Found Dead By An Off-Duty Waitress" is rumored to be Bruce-inspired]. Bruce has quit just once, but denies that he really did it, yet he still is missing. Warren Hall is Sid's ex-step-brother-in-law.
(Hey, it's a southern band, we can't help---or make up---such things!). Warren plays pedal steel guitar and bass. He's in the process of officially joining the Goates as soon as he can clear several legal hurdles. He says he looks forward to the six figure income he'll no doubt receive as a full time Goate.
Warren has yet to quit, mainly because he hasn't received his official card yet certifying his status. But we are all braced for the day he does quit. NOW We now realize that international fame is not likely to bring tour busses stopping at our childhood homes, that we will have to abide without collections of foreign cars and platinum gnus. We know the pain of doing without Lear Jets and $160 designer shoes from upscale malls. But no matter.
It's the music that matters. We owe the world a good laugh and this is our mission. As another group once had it said of them, "we're guaranteed to raise a smile." And here is our official website designed to help deflect the world a little from its humorless spiral through cold space. You should find this a BAAAAADDD experience. "It is not worth the while to go round the world to count the cats in Zanzibar."------Henry David Thoreau Read more on Last.fm.
User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply..
show me more