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Louis Goulet - JPop.com
Artist info
Louis Goulet

Louis Goulet

Louis Goulet


My mother was a carpenter and my father a God. I was born a poor black child, spending my formative years on the mean streets of Bethlehem, often sleeping inside crisp packets. My father would frequently beat me and my intermittent mother would live in tents selling rakes. I travelled to the moon at the age of 5 and I can count to 10 with my eyes closed. I am the musician that we have all been seeking. I spend most of my days caramelizing my nail clippings and creating music with bees. Read more on Last.fm
My mother was a carpenter and my father a God. I was born a poor black child, spending my formative years on the mean streets of Bethlehem, often sleeping inside crisp packets. My father would frequently beat me and my intermittent mother would live in tents selling rakes. I travelled to the moon at the age of 5 and I can count to 10 with my eyes closed. I am the musician that we have all been seeking. I spend most of my days caramelizing my nail clippings and creating music with bees. I call myself a musician, yet I spend more time frolicking in sandpits with children than writing music. I am filled mostly with ants and I know 8 secrets about mice. At current I am one of the most influential Albanian musicians though at current I am spreading Gouletism across the South West in the form of faulty flu jabs and fattening school dinners. In my spare time I steal CDs from postal distribution centres as well as playing with my Polonium 210 activities kit.

I often spend my summers in The Algarve where I lure small children with flute. Or as most know it, my gay stick. At seventeen points in my life I have used a lavatory. 16 of these times they were in Ukraine. I own 7 teddies named Mohammad. I know little of sex and have only driven a Fiat Uno once. That was in the summer of '97. You most probably have heard my music's influence in the work of Enya, Sigur Ros, The Beatles and Fun Boy Three. I know I have. I have a vocal range of 46 octaves, 7 of which I sing purely for any mice listening. I am bigger than Jesus.

I am yet to buy an iPhone. I eat Halloumi at least once a month. I like dead baby jokes. I was born with only one penis. I used to live in a German cave with a ginger rapist known only as "Sally the Infiltrator" and a finger puppet I had fashioned out of my own feces and corn flakes. I called him Smiley Rogers. In the winter of 1987, I lost my virginity to a heap of snow trapped between the fuel switch and LPG valve of my uncle Steve’s Ford Escort. Best night of my life. I hope you enjoy being enlightened by my work. Your God, Goulet. Read more on Last.fm.

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