Kill Allen Wrench
Kill Allen Wrench
Wrench organized Dr. Heathen Scum, Mariachi Mysterisos, Junky John Wholfeil, and The Prince of Punk into what would be know as punk rock¹s most important band. During one of many stays at a secret Beverly Hills lock down rehab facility. Front man, Allen Wrench, began writing the lyrics and music, for what would go on to become the Kill Allen Wrench debut CD...
ŒMy Bitch Is A Junky¹. Mr. Wrench claimed he wrote the entire CD within 1/2 hour after having just broke into the institutions¹ pharmacy. Wrench recalled ³It was cool as fuck...
I popped big ass hand full of pills and all this great music just started flying through my head. It was like I wasn¹t even writing. It was like someone was writing through me.² Other inpatients at the facility didn¹t particularly take a liking to Mr. Wrench.
³It was survival of the fittest.² recalled Wrench, ³If Don Dokken¹s asleep... his pills are mine. Fuck all those idiots. These guys just can¹t handle their dope.
They checked into that place on their own. But me and Downey where in there just to stay out of jail.² Downey was later ordered by the courts never to associate with Allen Wrench again. Upon being released from rehab, Allen Wrench cut the deal to begin recording the ŒMy Bitch¹ CD. After blowing the deal with a Hollywood major label (which cannot be named due to a pending law suit) for exhausting his recording budget on his recently Œresolved¹ drug problem, Allen Wrench began looking for another label and or investor. That¹s when he came into contact with the owner of Devil Vision Motion Picture Company.
A movie production company owned by an independently wealthy European wine heiress. Allen Wrench had met the wine eras sister during his previous stay in the Beverly Hills rehab center. A short time after being dropped by the label, Wrench was invited to lunch by the sisters. Wrench stated, ³The chick I met in rehab was hot looking, but her older sister was totally rocking.² The newly met sister was in the Los Angeles area to consider starting a movie company.
Allen Wrench claimed to be a producer, director, and screen writer for Dream works that was fired for his allegedly Œprevious¹ pill problem. The older sister took the bait. Wrench was immediately hired as the CEO of the Devil Vision Motion Picture Company. Along with the title of CEO of DVMPC Allen Wrench had a few company benefits. Along with the company car and condo, he also got an expense account and medical insurance.
The weekly expense account was depleted the 1st day each week, always spent on pornography, booze, and Mr. Wrench¹s new infatuation with heroin. The medical insurance also came in handy. Wrench would spend 5 hours a day going from doctor to doctor getting multiple prescriptions for Valium and generic diet pills.
In a 2 week period, Wrench would have scripts from no less than 108 different physicians. After 6 months there was still no plans to start production on any movie, or even a script. Allen Wrench was able to excuse his way out of adhering to any kind of time line. That¹s when his luck turned good.
The wine eras was getting divorced and was permanently moving to the US from Germany. According to Wrench, ³It was the typical thing. You know divorced chicks, as soon as they¹re free they want to go crazy, get loaded and start fucking. It was great!² Another 6 months went by.
During a drunken stupor, Allen Wrench had started working on the KILL ALLEN WRENCH project. Phone calls and arrangements where made to begin rehearsals. Accompanied by the wine eras to the first Kill Allen rehearsal, Allen Wrench changed the direction of the Devil Vision Motion Picture Company. Mr.
Wrench convinced the wine eras that there may not be as much profit as previously thought in movie production, and that more money could be made in the record industry. Wrench proposed to abandon the current plans to begin a movie, and start work on the first KILL ALLEN WRENCH release. After watching the rehearsal, the wine eras emphatically agreed. An interesting side note: at the first rehearsal, the band actually didn¹t have any music written.
According to Mr. Wrench, ³We didn¹t have any music and we were all super fucked up. It was 4 hours of my wine chick frying on acid, the rest of the band coked and boozed out, and me screaming as loud as I could freaking out on Valium and smoking diet pills.² What looked like recording and writing the record began immediately. Wrench had gotten his weekly expense account raised 12 times in 7 months, but the money was never enough.
Mr. Wrench, ³I would tell her that we needed to fly to France because I had and idea for a song. Then we¹d have to go to Amsterdam because I had to talk to Babe from Rockbitch about some stuff. It was all fun as hell.
I had this chick flying me all over the place, paying me a ton of money to run this movie company (that never was near to putting out a movie), and all she wanted from me was to fuck her.² After a year of excuses and international partying, the wine heiress became aware that little progress had been made. Her entire first film budget of $1.8 million dollars had been totally depleted, and they where no where near even starting the record. Recording had started in a prominent Hollywood studio. But after one of the engineers caught Wrench stealing some of the studio¹s equipment, Wrench and DVMPC where thrown out.
The project was moved to another studio. This time they where thrown out because of involving 2 of the studios¹ female receptionists in a 4 way sex act that also included Wrench and the wine heiress. At this point Wrench convinced the wine heiress to build their own studio in a Œlower key¹ area. DVMPC then purchased a house in Riverside, CA.
Inside the house a state of the art recording studio was built and recording immediately began. All though it look as though the project was making progress, strange problems soon began. The recording studio had been robbed. DVMPC replaced all the stolen recording equipment.
After the studio was robbed 5 more times the wine heiress became suspicious. With a little investigation she found out that the studio had actually been built next door to Allen Wrench¹s new heroin dealer. Allen Wrench apologized and the wine heiress forgave him. The Riverside studio was robbed one more time, but this time Wrench was not the one that stole the recording equipment.
Apparently Wrench¹s heroin debt was out of control and his dealer robbed the studio. Even though Allen Wrench had robbed the studio 6 times before, this time it wasn¹t him. Between flying back and forth between Europe and Los Angeles, the wine heiress wasn¹t able to keep tabs on the situation. But her patience had been exhausted. This was the last event she would put up with.
Her expense having reached over 3 million dollars, and having nothing to show for it, she was ready to leave the world of movie and record production. I lieu of Mr. Wrench¹s 'golden parachute' management contract, she gave him ownership of the Devil Vision Motion Picture Company. Now owning an empty record and movie company with no equipment or assets, Allen Wrench with his out of control pill and now heroin habit where ready to actually begin production.
But first he needed recording equipment. He began by turning in his heroin supplier to the police. Wrench was planning to steal back enough equipment to do the record while the dealer was in jail. That didn¹t work due to the fact that during the raid the police took all the dealer¹s property including the recording equipment.
Wrench¹s next move was to buy some equipment from an Orange County music store using bad checks. That plan was immediately thwarted and Wrench spent 60 days in the Orange County jail. While in jail Wrench met a rap artist that was doing time for a small drug offense. The rap artist had a small home studio that included 3 ADAT machines and a 24 track board.
Wrench told the rap artist that he was in the middle of doing a movie and needed to use the artists¹ equipment for the title song. Wrench also promised the rap artist a starring role in the movie if he would lend Wrench the recording equipment. The rap artist agreed. Upon their simultaneous release from jail, the rap artist brought the equipment to the Riverside house the studio had initially been in (It was the only asset DVMPC had left).
At this time the recording was finally completed. After calling the rap artist to return the equipment, Wrench found out the rap artist had O.D.¹d on a Œsmokable¹ methamphetamine recipe Wrench had given him. Now that the final product ŒMY BITCH IS A JUNKY¹ by KILL ALLEN WRENCH was completed, Wrench¹s problems weren't over. He boarded a bus and went back to Hollywood to talk to the first major label about a possible record manufacturing partnership.
They wouldn¹t even let him in the door. Shunned, Allen Wrench stole a car from the label¹s parking lot to get back to Riverside. At this time Wrench conceived a plan to come up with enough money to put a small amount of units (CDs) in hand. He hoped to get enough of the product to distributors so that he¹d make enough money to continue production.
His plan was to sell the stolen car. Wrench bought classified ads to sell the car in 5 newspapers, that were available in and around the Riverside, CA areas. He advertised the car at a low price, but not low enough to raise suspicion. The response was good enough to sell the same care 7 times.
Each time Mr. Wrench would promise delivery the next day, but would ask for a small deposit of a few thousand dollars to secure the vehicle until it cold be dropped off. Since Allen Wrench had stated that he was the person on the car¹s registration, no one was able to trace back the scam to him. At this point Mr.
Wrench had enough funds to send the CD off to the plant. During this time Wrench was arrested again for drunk in public and possession of a controlled substance. 28 days later he was out of jail and made all arrangements with distributors for the debut CD. Despite Mr.
Wrench various jail stays, Kill Allen Wrench Out Now on WWW.WANKER-RECORDS.DE: Kill Allen Wrench - My Bitch Is A Junky CD/LP Kill Allen Wrench - Mom, i'm fucking the plumber 7"EP ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ www.killallenwrench.com www.myspace.com/wr77 Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply..
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