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Joe Maximus - JPop.com
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Joe Maximus

Joe Maximus

Joe Maximus


The origins of Joe Maximus originate long before most people are aware. Joe Maximus decided to dedicate his life to solving world hunger. He traveled to Sweden and visited the cattle farms to negotiate agreements with the owners to contribute a portion of their meat to starving children in Third World countries. The negotiations were successful and Joe managed to save the lives of 3,482 children. The Swedish government recognized the importance of Joe’s mission, and helped him on his quest. Read more on Last.fm
The origins of Joe Maximus originate long before most people are aware. Joe Maximus decided to dedicate his life to solving world hunger. He traveled to Sweden and visited the cattle farms to negotiate agreements with the owners to contribute a portion of their meat to starving children in Third World countries. The negotiations were successful and Joe managed to save the lives of 3,482 children.

The Swedish government recognized the importance of Joe’s mission, and helped him on his quest. In return, Joe Maximus composed and produced a new national anthem for Sweden. Joe Maximus moved on from Sweden to negotiate similar charitable agreements with other countries such as Holland, Lithuania, and Zaire. However, before leaving Sweden for the last time in his life, he had dinner with the most generous owners of one of the cattle farms.

During dinner, Joe Maximus was enthralled by the repeating sounds of the cowbells coming from the field. As tokens of their appreciation, the owner presented Joe with the two sacred cowbells of Sweden. The legend behind these two sacred cowbells is another story altogether. Many years later, Joe Maximus lay on his death bed when, from across the street at The Beer Store, he heard the faint sound of dedicated musicians performing on the sidewalk.

Joe Maximus was so moved by the musical sound, that he summoned the strength to walk, and fall, and roll to The Beer Store across the street. Upon his arrival, the two musicians greeted him with awe, for they recognized the man of virtue and generosity who had mastered the art of cowbell percussion. And he said unto them, “Fear not, my good men, for I bring you tidings of comfort and joy.” And he gave unto them the sacred cowbells. And at that moment, God looked down from the heavens and saw Joe Maximus for what he truly was: a kind and glorious hero who had dedicated his life to the salvation of humanity.

And God gave unto him a power beyond which the world has never known. And Joe Maximus gave God a high five and chose to use his gift to bring happiness into the world after his death. He offered the musicians the opportunity to dedicate their lives to benefit mankind through the power of music. Joe Maximus requested that the young musicians form a band in his honour to continue his legacy.

He offered the musicians the ability to sing with the voices of angels so long as they swore to a life of chastity and free of sin. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply..
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