Being that I’m quite shy, I never had much interest in playing them for anyone. My main passion was computers. And after leaving the group, I ended up getting my dream job of game developer and left my music behind. Something was missing though.
I felt what I made, had little value to anyone. After moving to Austria and a difficult brake up, I started writing songs again. Occasionally I’d play them to my friends. They always seemed to leave a lasting impression.
I ended up playing keyboard in a band, wanted to make music without the pressure of being the front man. After some disappointments, I started to play open mic nights alone. Meeting other singer songwriters, we put together a few group shows. But getting on stage was always a painful experience for me.
My sister suggested that I join Youtube and make a few home videos. That was more my style, I could sing from the safety of home. As a birthday gift, she made me an animated music video to one of my songs. By some miracle, our video ended up on the front page of Youtube.
As cool as it was, even my internet success became hard for me. One day, I saw someone playing alone on a park bench. Later that day, I found him performing on a street corner. I worked up the courage to stop and talk with him.
He invited me to play a few songs. It became clear, that street performing was perfect for me. It allowed me to play my songs in public, but remain anonymous. We did that happily for a few years.
Some while later, with his help, we put together an album. I’d print the CD’s myself and sell them out of my guitar case. I knew in my heart, that I was still running from the stage. I decided to build a live loop recording machine, attempting to bring the two sides of myself together.
Just as I was finishing the looper, by chance, I found a looping festival happening back home in the Northwest. I bit the bullet and applied to play, though I had never used the machine on stage before. Amazingly they let me in, I was on my way home after 9 years! It was still hard getting up there, even with my new toy. But a little more fun! Read more on Last.fm.
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